One Down - Eleven To Go

 

In less than 5 hours I will have finished my 56^th January in my lifetime.  31 new days…744 hours…44640 minutes that I never had before and will never have again.  In the past I’ve often set goals…New Year’s resolutions…made plans.  But I’ve always tended to wait till the end of the year and then felt good and fluffy if I accomplished at least half of what I set out for.

This year I’m setting the bar a little higher.  I’m not looking for perfection.  I’m not trying to be a superwoman.  But I do want to know that when I say I’m living an accomplished life that I’m really doing so. 

I broke my year’s goals into monthly goals this year…thinking that “baby steps” are just plain easier than giant strides.  I remind myself that my day-to-day life stays busy these days because I’m blessed with a husband, children and grandchildren and a warm, dry house that all need my attention.  Dan and I have had some “discussions” this month.  I’d love to say they resulted in some positive changes…but I can say they’ve resulted in a lot of introspection!  Andy and Shannon lived with as for a couple of weeks as he and Jen worked some things out in their marriage…and then he switched places and Jen and Shannon have been with us due to lack of heat in their home.  That same lack of heat caused frozen and then burst water pipes…so they’ll be with us a while longer while repairs are done to their home.  Holden’s been with us every school morning…and spent three days with us while his poor little lungs coped with our crazy weather swings this month.  Those weather swings have been crazy…60 one Saturday…-2 eight days later…55 eight days after that…and a wind chill of 7 degrees tonight.  We’ve had Orlando and Roman a little more than usual too while Steve and Enith were moving everything to their new home.   So this month has been full of FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY.  My life verse for this year is Matthew 25:40: “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”  I had no idea when I accepted that verse as my inspiration that I’d be housing my own family in time of crisis…stepping up to the plate can be challenging often and calls for sacrifice we may not want to make…but it’s always right to do the right thing.

First and foremost…I set this month aside as a “Wilderness Experiment” with God.  I wanted to see what 40 days alone with God would be like…no going to church for my weekly vitamin punch.  My plans were to spend hours and hours in the Scriptures…with praise and worship music…writing at my piano…praying.  My hours and hours ended up squeezed to two (or less) hours a day because family came back home.  I don’t think satan wanted me spending all that time in the Word.  But I did have some wonderful time of studying and searching my heart and examining my relationship with the Lord.  My staying-away-from-church “worked” in that I did it…but I’ll never do it again.  I love my pastor’s sermons…I love the energy of the fellowship I’m blessed to share at Sawyer…I highly do NOT recommend withdrawing from church fellowship no matter what your reasons may be.  My “praise and worship” music time has been less than sporadic.  I’ve had no time at the piano…because little fingers always want to join me there and the music just doesn’t sound the same (smile).  BUT…prayer …I’ve been very blessed this month to spend a lot of time in prayer.  I started a prayer list that I keep up with every day.  When someone on FB asks for prayer they go to my prayer list.  Every couple of weeks I check back with them if they’ve not already posted an answer to their prayer or a need for more prayer.  I’ve prayed for friends who’ve lost loved ones…who have friends or family with illnesses…who have job needs…who have personal needs.  I’ve prayed for friends struggling in their relationship with the Lord.  I’ve prayed for a government that frightens me…I know that God has used ungodly governments to give nations what they deserve and I feel like that’s what’s happening with our nation today.  Yes, God ordained this president…but for what purpose and am I prepared for that purpose.

My monthly “plans and hopes” for January included the following:  Start a Christmas Jar – CHECK.  Read some good fiction during the long, chilly winter days – CHECK.  Leave the books (with a Christian bookmark) somewhere for someone else to enjoy – STILL HAVE TO DO THIS…haven’t left the house much to do it.   Write “real” letters to 3 friends telling them how special they are to me – CHECK (I’d forgotten how much fun it is to stick a stamp on a “real” letter).  Finish “office” and start using it – this was not accomplished because there are more people involved in this than me.  Give LeeAnne a weekend off from parenting. Lose at least 5 more pounds – CHECK.   Send David and Kim a card – that’s on my to-do list tomorrow.  Write something – words for a new song are on paper awaiting music.   Make something – I’ve collected “ideas” for making something with the jewelry I brought from my mom’s home…fun ideas that I look forward to implementing.  I feel pretty good about what I accomplished on my “plans and hopes” list.

I also made out a daily calendar.  Sixteen of the days had activities listed to be done around the house.  I did not plan to “work” when Dan was home on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (our new weekends) or on Sundays.  That’s where the other days of the month went.  Of the sixteen activities planned, I accomplished thirteen:  1 - all jewelry was returned to its rightful place (I’m terrible about removing earrings and leaving them laying around the house) 2 - my makeup desk and shelves were all cleaned and sorted out  3 - my craft desk turned out to have a top after I removed everything that had collected there and put it all where it belonged 4 – reading material was sorted and put away to either read now or later 5 – closet was refreshed (donated clothing I no longer wear) 6 – dresser drawers were straightened and re-organized  7 – bathroom was re-organized with new shower curtains and pictures put up and old “stuff” thrown out 8 – cards and letters were made/written/mailed  9 - new song lyrics were put on paper  10 – medical appointments, prescriptions and notes were reviewed  11 – files were started and contacts pursued to participate in the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life  12 – craft dressers were sorted through and 13 – dinner date with one of my children.  What did I NOT get done that I had planned to do?  1 – sorting a suitcase full of photographs to start organizing them to give away or put in some sort of order so they can be enjoyed   2 – writing stories for my four grandchildren  and  3 – sorting my pantry shelves in the back room to make them a little more user-friendly (this is a yearly chore…because by the end of the year it’s never in the same shape it starts in – smile).

So January is about to end and I’m going to have to put a big checkmark in the “Well Done” category for accomplishment.  But the truth is…I’m still aching and hurting to be closer to God.  I ache to be close to Him.  I long for Him with every fiber of my being.  It’s not that He’s not here…or that we’re not together.  I just want more.  More of Him.  More of Him reflected in my life.  More of Him reflected in every word that comes from my mouth.  I want the intimacy that comes from being alone…snuggled together…loving each other with no distractions to keep us from each other.  I want to know He’s working through me to draw others to Him.  I want to be about Kingdom growth and not just my own personal growth. 

So I move into February passionate to know my Jesus more…and what a month to seek Love!  I feel good about what I’m doing and who I am.  I hit one small speed bump on the road of my life this month…but quickly passed over it and focused again on what God has called me to do.  We all have different paths and I’ve learned that unless someone asks for my help I will not try to “help” them beyond encouraging them.  It was a good lesson to learn. 

I hope and pray you’re feeling as good about your January…and if not…be glad there’s a February and a fresh chance to move back on track!  Let me know if I can pray for you…that seems to be something I CAN do when life interferes with all my other plans (smile).