Home is Where the Heart Is

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What happens when your heart is torn in two and you feel like you should be in two places at the same time?  I’m packed and ready to head back to Louisiana…will leave the house in the next half hour to catch a 6:00 a.m. flight out of Buffalo.  But everything in me is screaming that I need to be here.  Here to help my husband when he has knee surgery.  Here to help my grandson when he has heart surgery.  Here to watch my precious grandchildren grow…because they seem to change day by day.  And yet I’m equally drawn to be with mom…to calm her as much as I can…to assure her…to run my fingers through her hair…to hold her hand.  How is it possible that a heart can feel that it has two homes?  I thought my walk with cancer was a walk of trust in the Lord…but it was a piece of cake compared to this.  I am trusting God with all the people that I love the most…and I know that in His hands they’re in the best of care.  I recently wished I could be all things to all people…but I know the truth.  And so I head to Louisiana today…heart renewed from a wonderful Vacation Bible School with some of the most flexible, cheerful, gifted, talented and encouraging friends.  I go heavy-hearted but knowing that a great victory lies ahead for Mom as she walks out of our earthly lives and into her heavenly life.  Why, or why, do I feel so torn?  Help me, Lord…I want You to have victory in my life.

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