This is Tough

Day #1 on NutriSystem and I’m already finding myself frustrated.  I didn’t think I spent that much time thinking about food…but today it’s all I can think about.  My sausage, egg and toast breakfast was different tasting…okay different…but still different.  My protein shake was delicious.  My chocolate/peanut bar at lunch was yummy.  I’m conscious that I have to drink a lot of water.  I’ve divided my day into 4ths…8-Noon…Noon-4…4-8 and 8 to midnight.  I figure if I can drink a bottle of water during each of those periods that I’ll get the required 8 cups in.  My activity today hasn’t matched what’s required…I’ll be glad when next week gets here and we can get active at the Y.  Right now we’re still in the “learning” stage there…learning what’s available…learning how to use the equipment.  But we should be ready to go next week.

It’s also a little discouraging today because I’m watching Dan NOT do what he’s supposed to do.  We agreed that I would order the food but that he’d be in charge of his diet and I’d be in charge of mine.  I thought that would make things easy for both of us…because he’s been doing a lot of cooking around here and now he’d only have to look out for himself.  It’s so hard not to “encourage” him (read that as “nag”).  I need to concentrate on me…but it’s difficult. 

Our Amish fireplace (made in China…sigh) arrived today.  There are hundreds of screws and about 20 pieces of wood that need to be put together.  Every review I read said that they go together “quickly and easily”, but when one’s husband is dyslexic with directions, we have the recipe for a disaster.  And we’ve already had two disasters.  I suggested that he put the screws in separate sorting bins I had…but he didn’t think to keep the labels with the screws.  Then, the  little covers that go over the screws were not easy to insert.  Dan was getting frustrated with them so I volunteered to help.  I asked if we could turn the thing on its side and he said, “Sure!”.  Well….he didn’t turn it quite right and some of the wood split….arghhhhhh.  And trying to do all of this in Holden’s presence wasn’t a great idea either.  He actually gave some wonderful help (vacuuming the pieces of styrofoam that covered everything...he loves to vacuum)…but he also insists on doing things his own way sometimes (smile…he got that from his grandfather).  So we eventually gave up and decided to wait till he left.  He’s gone now…but we’re waiting for the wood glue to dry (weak smile).

I’m going to keep my spirits up.  I think I’ll go start a project in another room so I can see some success.  I need to eat some vegetables (this is the hardest thing for me).   I need to spend some time praying.  I will confess…I like worrying about other people and their problems more than I like focusing on my own.  I think if I can figure out how to use this time to pray for others I won’t feel so guilty about taking care of myself.

I figured I’d go ahead and share this so that folks would know that I do get discouraged sometimes.  Nothing horrible…I just don’t like the frustrations.  Pray for my husband…these are difficult days for him with memories from the past that haunt him at times.  Tomorrow is never an easy day for him…his former wife, Cynda, passed away 11 years ago on January 6^th.   I don’t think it ever gets easy to deal with the pain of losing a loved one.

And just so you know…some good things also happened today.  We paid off a loan from a precious friend who helped us during a difficult time.  I was able to see the eye doctor without having to make appointments with anyone else (see January of last year…you’ll know why this was such a blessing).  And…even though I’ve been thinking about food all day, the only food I’ve put in my mouth has been NutriSystem food!  That’s pretty remarkable for me.

It will all be worth it when I see that weight loss on Monday.  I’m going to use Mondays for weigh-ins.  I’ll let you know if I lose anything!