Rocky Mountain Storm

I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls . . . —2 Corinthians 12:15

I just read today’s devotional thought in My Utmost for His Highest and how perfect it was for this trip that celebrates friendship at its best.  Last night I had a heart-to-heart with a dear, dear, dear friend and sister who has experienced loss and heartbreak and shame and guilt…all at the hands of someone who promised to love her for the rest of her life.  Her pain was like another person in the room…so real…so heavy…not a nice person. I didn’t invite him here and I wanted him to leave.  But…I learned an incredible lesson about friendship last night.

Most people I know are “fair weather” friends who run at the sight of anything uncomfortable, confusing or scary.  I don’t think we do it for bad reasons.  I think sometimes we believe we need to shelter ourselves from the storm.  But last night I learned that those same “fair weather” friends, while protecting themselves, actually cause more danger in the life of the one they call “friend”.  When we abandon our friend in their time of need, we leave that friend wide open to satan’s attacks.  We leave them unprotected.  We abandon them in the war for their soul.  We leave them to drown instead of allowing God to use us as a life-jacket that can save their lives.

Paul was literally willing to lay down his life for his friends…following the example of His Savior.  I’m not sure where we get off thinking it’s alright for us to leave our friends flailing when the Scriptures teach us that we have a responsibility to restore, uplift, reinstate, inspire, enrich and build up our Christian brothers and sisters.  Unfortunately, until one has been abandoned in a time of need, I’m not even sure we even recognize the havoc we can cause.

I heard my dear sister share her heart last night.  She may not think that I did because I didn’t agree with everything she said (some of you reading this will give a sad smile because you know this is a character flaw in my nature…but I cannot watch a Christian sister or brother who wants to walk by sight instead of putting on the “belt of truth” to walk by faith).  I felt the incredible depth of her pain.  And I hurt for her like I never did before…and I thought I’d been to the depths with her.  I heard someone who feels forsaken.  Forsaken by a husband who refused to follow the teachings of the Scriptures except to exonerate himself so he could have what he’d always wanted (even though he’s pretended that’s not true…the “belt of truth” exposes his nature).  My friend was then forsaken by Christian brothers and sisters who did not apply the “belt of truth” but walked by sight and were swallowed up in lies…and then when this friend confessed and looked for the restoration the Scriptures promise she found that to a tee, almost all abandoned her.  Not all…God blessed her with those who have carried on through a hurricane of a storm.  Not only did her “fair-weather” friends abandon her in her time of need, but they then threw salt on the wound by siding with the husband who has put on a good show…but who, at the core, is hollow and false.  Do I sound judgmental?  You bet I do. 

You see…I haven’t been a fair-weather friend.  I’ve been the captain of our friend-SHIP…and I will go down with this boat before I’ll let my friend sink into despair.  I have known too many men who have found excuses for hurting those they promised to love because they refused to keep their promise.  I have watched men, who are supposed to love their wives like Christ loved the church and died for her (in her sinfulness…in her adultery and relationships with idols of all kinds…in her denial and betrayal of His strength and love…in her disrespect for Who He is and all He’s done).  And what these men have not realized is they are changing what the world sees in God.  When a man who claims to love Christ chooses to abandon his home, the devastation he leaves in his wake has eternal consequences.  Sons who need the blessing of their father are left rudderless to face life.  Daughters who need the security and example of true love flounder.  And these children will look to anything or anyone to find what God intended fathers to give to their children.  Any dads reading this…please know the truth.  YOU ARE IMPORTANT in God’s sight and in the lives of your wives and children. 

When a man fails to keep his commitment, mom…who is facing a devastation and abandonment in her own soul…finds herself having to swallow her pain to look out for the children that she’s loved and nurtured from before the time they were born.  There is no pain as great as the pain a mother sees in her children’s eyes when their father abandons them.  The pure and incredible betrayal by the one who was never intended to betray is unfathomable.  And mom, who has been the “fixer of things” for all of her parenting life, suddenly understands that her children aren’t really hers any more…because something has invaded their life that she cannot repair.  She carries the guilt of her choice to accept the love of this betrayer.  She carries the pain that her part in the dissolution of her marriage is part of her child’s pain.  No matter the depths and heights she may have exceeded in trying to save her family…she takes the weight of her children’s pain on herself…and if she holds on to it, it becomes a cancer in her soul.

And this is why God never intended Christians to be “fair-weather” friends.  As a woman who has been on the receiving end of the plan God intended…repentance, forgiveness, restoration and building up…I can honestly and candidly speak to the sin of abandonment.  I don’t speak about this lightly.  I speak about it this morning because I’m stunned at the pain and shame and guilt and confusion my friend still carries…because her “friends” abandoned her in her hour of need. 

When a husband leaves his wife (or vice versa), the abandoned spouse NEEDS friends.  It does not matter what that spouse may have done…according to the Scriptures…no one deserves to be forced to live without forgiveness and all that God intended to go along with it.  God’s forgiveness is real…but it is manifested through us.  We are His hands…His feet…His heart…His love…here to teach the world how different He is from the world’s idea of “love”.  The world, under satan’s deceitful leadership, has skewed the picture of true love.  It’s offered men and women the idea that their needs and their wants and their desires are what truly matter in matters of the heart.  THAT IS A LIE.

Christ did not come to earth to fulfill HIS needs and wants and desires.  He came to fulfill OUR needs.  To give us the needed salvation that was the only thing that could restore our hearts to the Creator…His Father.  And when men and women fail…utterly fail…to demonstrate God’s love, while calling themselves His children, we water down His Word…we make His promises weak.

The world would be bleak this morning.  But here I sit, atop the world, high in the Rocky Mountains, knowing this TRUTH.  God uses us…but He does not need us…to fulfill His plans.  We can stay through the storm and be blessed as He reveals His strength, His protection and His healing in the lives of hurting sons and daughters and spouses.  Or we can walk away from friends…sail away on our own lifeboats…and leave our friends to drown on a sinking ship.

Lord, this morning I pray that I NEVER abandon my Christian sisters and brothers in a time of need.  I pray that the lesson learned last night will stay fresh in my heart.  I pray for my Christian friends who will read this, that they will not hear my anger and frustration as much as they’ll hear my hurting heart for this friend and so many others like her.  I pray that you will work at the hearts of men (and women) who have abandoned their families in pursuit of their own loves… whatever those loves may be.  Wow, Lord…how broken we’ve become because we refuse Your love and protection.  Those wonderful “rules” You gave us to save us from ourselves have been thrown into the wind…and our ships flail in the storm.  Call us back, O Father, to Your true love.  Teach us to demonstrate Your love to others that they would be drawn to You…either as new creations in Your Kingdom…or as refreshed and renewed brothers and sisters in Christ who have, like Peter, denied You and run away to hide.  Seek out your children and ask them again, Lord, “Do you love Me?”  Show us anew, Christ, how to live Your true love in a world that’s been deceived.

Thank You for this incredible time to step away from the world and reconnect with You, Your Spirit…Your flesh living in our flesh.  Help us to repent…truly repent…and turn away from our wicked ways and seek Your face.

I love You, Lord.