The Miracle in "MY" Mess


I've been away from blogging for a couple of weeks.  I thought an impending disaster was about to unfold in my life.  My simple trip for glasses (I wrote about this at the beginning of the month) turned into month long turmoil that included a visit to the neurologist...a brain scan/MRI...a spinal tap (with accompanying 95-hour debilitating spinal headache)...and then...THE MIRACLE.

The MRI showed something on the optic nerve...something that indicated the need for the spinal tap.  The first good news was a spinal tap that was clear...no malignant cells in the brain.  But as good as that news was, the miracle came the following week when the neuro-ophthalmologist could not find anything wrong with the optic nerve...NOTHING...NADA.  It was there last week...it was gone this week.  God is still in the business of healing and miracles!  I credit this to immense prayer support.  I am humbled at the answered prayer and sometimes wonder how and why God chooses to heal or not heal.  I know that everything that He does is for His glory.  Sunday Dave and Debbie Hawk shared a verse that we are here to do things so people will say, "We've never seen that before!"  It's what draws people to God.  But only if we share His good news.  So I will glorify God and give Him praise for doing something I'd never personally experienced before this week... miraculous healing.  Thank You, Lord.

But maybe the greater healing is one that has begun in my heart.  I am reading a book that had me reviewing the hurts of my past so that I can prepare for "forgetting what is past" as Paul did.  I've learned some remarkable things already and I'm only two chapters into the book.  First...I've learned that I may want to forget the painful things of my past, but I cannot "forget" the consequences.  Actions have consequences.  I believe the sooner we realize that the sooner we begin to pay the kind of attention to our actions that we should be paying.  The hard part about consequences is that they are often visited on the least deserving.  It's so painful when the consequences of my actions affect the people I love.  Now I pray not only for my own healing, but also for theirs...for it's the only thing I know to do.

I've learned that the past MUST be dealt with for it's in the past that our hidden wounds lie festering in our souls.  Identifying the wound...allowing God to dig in to clean out all the diseased parts...and then resting in His healing is imperative to a complete recovery.  That recovery will let you embrace your present...and dream your future.  I've not dreamt in a long time...but I feel some dreams coming on soon.

I am blessed beyond measure that the Creator of this universe loves me and desires a relationship with me that actually did this........  Yesterday I sat with my best friend and made the statement, "I don't know how to become a woman...but it's absolutely what I need to do." (That will sound strange but she understood).  Did I go to bed last night and open a book I'd been reading...and the title of the next chapter was, "Becoming a Woman"?????  I kid you not.  God knows what we need...He knows WHEN we need it...and He provides when it will have the most value in our lives.

So the crisis is over and I'm ready for life to settle back into its normal routine.  Hugs to all...
Lauren