The Afternoon of Life

 Fall afternoons have sounds that we don’t get to hear the rest of the year.   The dry leaves brushing against each other in the breeze.   The sound of children’s voices playing a pick-up football game across the street.   The distinct “thump” of a foot making contact with the pigskin.   The deep squeak of school bus brakes. I don’t remember the last time I listened to children playing unsupervised by adults.   That’s almost unheard of nowadays.   On the playground at school they’re supervised by their teachers.   After school they seem to all be supervised now by coaches.   But there’s a different sound in their voices when they get to make up the rules.   I keep expecting to hear arguments.   Voices rise for a moment…and then there’s the sound of young boys giggling…yes, giggling.   Somehow all seems right with the world when young boys are giggling. I love living in this small town.   I love the sun when it peeks through...

 My absence this summer from my wonderful husband made me determined that one thing would change when we came home.   I was committed to finding or scheduling “Dan Time”.   Dan is the least selfish person I know in this world.   He does so much for so many and asks absolutely nothing in return.   But I knew his heart’s desire would be that I would WANT to be with him…not just that I’d be with him because we’re married (sad smile).   So while we were together in Louisiana I suggested he pick one day of the week and we would commit that day to *US*.   No babysitting…no coffee with the girls…we would try to avoid conflicts so that we could focus on us.   It might mean we clean house together.   It might mean we go for a long (expensive…sigh) ride together.   We might plan something special…or we might just veg out together.   But it was going to be about us…and being together.   Being apart for so long this summer truly did make...

Home!   I live in western New York, where mountains sprout from the ground to surround the beautiful Allegany River that meanders it’s way through the countryside.   As we drove home tonight, after eleven weeks of the hottest summer of my life in Louisiana, I found myself growing silent.   It’s time to switch hats again.   If I’ve learned nothing about death this past year, I’ve learned that life goes on.   There once was a time when a person was expected to mourn…when they were given “time” to mourn.   But in this fast-paced world, mourning happens in bits and pieces that have to be found.   The world doesn’t slow down for the death of a loved one.   Well…that’s not totally true.   There was the visitation and funeral, where people gave up their precious time to let us know how special mom was to them…and I am so grateful for that sacrifice from all of her dear friends – many whom I now call friend.   But there’s a longer time ...

 Tonight I sit in the place of which dreams are made.   I’m curled up on a couch, wrapped in a cozy blanket, inside a cabin sitting high on the bluffs of Petit Jean Mountain in Arkansas.   I went out on the porch a few minutes ago and was enchanted with the view, even in the dark.   The towns, farms and houses down below look like stars on the ground.   The Arkansas River flows by and the light of a tugboat pushing a barge moves slowly through the night.   Unfortunately, it’s too chilly to stay out on the screened porch too long.   The wind is blowing and making the wonderful sound of fall as the dry leaves brush against each other.   There are soft chimes blowing in the wind…perfect for the mood of the evening.   There’s a wonderful porch swing where I intend to plant myself for a while tomorrow and just enjoy the incredible view.   There’s another mountain range about 20 miles from here that can be seen, and in between here and there i...

 Funny how the call to return to the town of my teenage years brought fear and frustration to my heart three months ago.  I did not have wonderful memories to return to...or so I thought.  I didn't know anyone after 30+ years away...or so I thought.  And worst of all...it was sum-sum-sum-sum-sum-sum-summertime!!!  I did NOT want to make this trip.  I did NOT want to walk the path that lay before us in caring for mom's final journey home.  I did NOT want to separate from my husband, children and grandchildren to go back to a place that held no connection to my heart. And then I came "home" and discovered that Ruston is a beautiful city.  Ruston is a growing city...a lot of building going on in a time when economic issues seem to be shutting down the rest of the country.  Ruston is a breath of fresh air.  It's a beautiful little town...big enough to be entertaining...small enough to be friendly.  But it truly is the people of...

 My mother was beautiful.   She was not perfect…heaven knows the many times she fell short of perfection.   But in the final moments that her “shell” was with us her beauty showed.   It showed in the 30+ family members that showed up for her funeral.   It showed in the 300+ guests that came to the funeral, all with something special to say about their interaction with my mother…and my father.   You see, mom’s beauty was something that welled up from inside of her.   It showed up in the encouragement she gave to others.   It showed up in her ability to inspire others to greater things.   It showed up in the sermon of her life…of her love for God, for her husband, for her children and for her friends.   One thing that wasn’t mentioned was her service to others…working in her retirement years as a sponsor for World Changers and helping with Disaster Relief.   There was a lot of laughter at her funeral and at the graveside…laughter that sh...

What a precious day today has been.   At 6:30 this morning my husband, Andy, LeeAnne and Holden arrived…and, oh, the joy I felt as that warm little 4-yr-old raced to get out of his car seat and into my arms.   He delighted me because he wouldn’t let me leave the room without following me…he refused to let me out of his sight for more that 3 minutes.   Dan and I tried to lie down and rest for a few minutes, but it’s hard to rest with a 4-yr-old constantly pounding on the door and calling out, “Gee Gee???”   He came in and out of the bedroom, simply rejoicing that his Gee Gee was back in his life…snuggling between us…jumping on the bed in joy.   When it came time to take his bath he wouldn’t go to the bathroom unless I walked him there… and he came to snuggle under the covers as soon as his bath was through.   We all piled into the van and headed to McDonalds for breakfast, where Holden was delighted with the train that rode around the ceiling…a train pullin...

For those of you who do not know the story of Penny, I cannot let my mother’s life go without writing of her faithful canine companion.   Penny is a mixed breed “mutt”.   I’m not really sure what she is…a little of this and a little of that.   She’s tan in color, an expressive face…one ear stands up and the other flops over.   She’s a tough little cookie, and she’s about as special a dog as a dog could ever be. Today, after mom’s body was removed from the house, Penny lay by mom’s bed…and if a dog could be described as moping, Penny was that dog.   I thought back to that couple of hours after mom died.   So many strangers had entered the house.   Two EMTs, a member of the Sheriff’s Department, a woman with the coroner’s office and two men from the funeral home.   None of these people had ever entered this house before…but Penny did not bark one time at anyone.   I cannot tell you how unusual this is.   Penny barked at her own car some...

 The hospital bed in the living room is empty now.   Penny lies beside the bed looking forlorn and not understanding why her “momma” left without her.   The house has finally grown silent after a rush of people…EMTs to confirm her death, the coroner’s office to check on things, the hospice nurse's return to prepare for mom to be moved, the funeral home van to remove her body.   And you know what?   That’s all they removed from this house.   They took her body away, but mom was no longer there.   Her spirit had left already and was immediately rejoicing to be in the Presence of the Lord and back with her beloved husband Richard.   She was at peace for the first time in months…maybe even years.   And so I think I shed three tears, because I could not be sad that she was gone.   I couldn’t even ache a little…because I’ve been aching through these last couple of weeks.   Her downhill slide was sudden and harsh.   In all reality, I bel...

 Tonight mom is becoming almost incoherent.   She heard me make a comment about an uncle who hasn’t been following his doctor’s instructions.   She’s spent the last 15 minutes saying over and over, “When he first gets to the doctor…”   She finally added, “Make sure he…”   But we have yet to find out what she thinks he should do. She’s trembling uncontrollably now.   Her head hangs most of the time.   If the meds do not put her quickly to sleep she is agitated and frustrated with so many things.   She wants the bed up…she wants the bed down.   She wants us to put the sides of the bed up and down.   She feels bumps in her back (I suspect these are tumors and not lumps in the bed like she thinks).   David only has to pound on the bed and she believes the lumps go away.   She asked to sit up today and feel her doggy…a faithful companion who lies just a few feet from her bed at most times.   She just asked again, “Where am I?” ...

 It is futile to wish for good days with mom any more. At this point we just wish for her to sleep so that she doesn’t have to sit with the blank stare on her face, begging us to help her go…confused…calling for her sisters who do not live here.   Her feet are swelling…her fingers are icy cold…she struggles to open her eyes.   But in the midst of her suffering there have been moments this week that she’s brought smiles to our faces. There was the time a couple of nights when she belched.   Not a burp, mind you…a full grown belch.   Still polite to the very end, she said, “Excuse me,” and David immediately responded, “You’re excused.”   Only ten seconds later she belched even louder, startling herself.   But she still remembered to say, “Excuse me,” and David was quick to respond, “It’s okay, Mom.   You’re excused.” The third belch was another good one and quickly followed by a third, “Excuse me.”   But David, ever the tease, said, “Mom, I excu...