The Visitation

What a precious day today has been.  At 6:30 this morning my husband, Andy, LeeAnne and Holden arrived…and, oh, the joy I felt as that warm little 4-yr-old raced to get out of his car seat and into my arms.  He delighted me because he wouldn’t let me leave the room without following me…he refused to let me out of his sight for more that 3 minutes.  Dan and I tried to lie down and rest for a few minutes, but it’s hard to rest with a 4-yr-old constantly pounding on the door and calling out, “Gee Gee???”  He came in and out of the bedroom, simply rejoicing that his Gee Gee was back in his life…snuggling between us…jumping on the bed in joy.  When it came time to take his bath he wouldn’t go to the bathroom unless I walked him there… and he came to snuggle under the covers as soon as his bath was through.  We all piled into the van and headed to McDonalds for breakfast, where Holden was delighted with the train that rode around the ceiling…a train pulling race cars on carrier cars.  We got home, switched vehicles and went shopping for something to wear tonight.  A precious, precious friend, Shawna Pate…who has ministered in so many special ways to me while I’ve been in Louisiana…wanted to give me something special to wear to mom’s visitation service.  We came home where I enjoyed lying down and singing Holden to sleep…but there was no time for my own rest because it was soon time to get ready to head to Kilpatrick’s Funeral Home. 

I went to the funeral home with trepidation.  I was afraid for a couple of things.  I knew that Richard would be coming to the funeral home and I have such strong feelings about him that I knew I would be uncomfortable with his presence.  But I was even more afraid of seeing mom.  When she left the house on Tuesday afternoon it was not a pleasant site.  Her pain and sadness and frustration all showed on her face.  She did not look like the mother I wanted to remember.  And I had no clue how they could possibly “fix” that.  They had not asked for a picture to help them know how to make her look.  But we walked in to the room and I found the beautiful mother that I’d known for so many years.  I can only describe the transformation as miraculous.  Anyone who saw her in the last two weeks knew they were looking at something special tonight.  I turned immediately and went back to the front to find out from Bob Hearn who I could say, “Thank You” to for returning my beautiful mother to me.  I was blessed to shake the hand of Tommy (I wish I’d paid attention to his last name).   He had found my mother for me.  She was soft…she was pretty…she was just incredibly beautiful actually.  I told several people that she looked like Snow White just waiting to be kissed by her handsome prince and she’d wake up.  She truly looked like she was just asleep.  My favorite comment was from the person who said, “She got such a beautiful look on her face.  You can tell she’s happy to be back with Bro. Dick finally.”

Starting at 5:00 guests came through the door and I can remember only about a five-minute lag somewhere between 6:30-7:00.  The rest of the time the room was full of people.  So many teachers came by to tell us how much they had enjoyed working with mom and what an inspiration they’d all been to her.  Family members…former church members…teaching friends…and some of my own personal friends and my brothers friends…they kept coming and coming through the door.  How I wish mom could have known the mark she left on the world.  I returned home to find an e-mail box full of condolences from friends and family members who were unable to join us tonight.  It was such a blessing to be a part of so much love.

I have to mention a God-thing that happened today.  My ex-husband, Sherman, came to the visitation.  Several people seemed to find this remarkable.  Sherman was there to help his children deal with their loss and to express appreciation for the woman who was once his mother-in-law.  He came back to the house with the kids this evening and they all watched part of the Saints/Packers game, but left when things didn’t seem to go the way we all would have liked.  I appreciated that God has healed the pain of our divorce and allowed us to become friendly enough that he felt welcome here with the family.  That truly is a God-thing.

I also want to say a special thank you and tell on myself about someone who long ago was a dear friend…a dear friend that I’d “forgotten”.  Susan and Hugh Bennett came to the funeral home tonight.  They introduced themselves and I could only draw a blank.  They looked “familiar”, but I couldn’t place them in a church I’d been in…or a job I’d worked at…or anything.  I was stunned when my Andy said, “I know my Hugh!”  I couldn’t wait for them to leave so I could ask Andy who they were.  But before they left Susan approached me again and started talking, and somewhere in the conversation she mentioned her daughter Tori…and the light finally went on!!!  This couple had become wonderful friends of Sherman and me…we’d spent hours playing cards…Susan once helped me sew shirts for Andy and LeeAnne (when they were 6 and 4…almost 20 years ago).  I might be forgiven for not knowing who they were…except that Susan’s been on my friends list on Facebook for a while now.  So I was relieved when I finally knew who I was talking to and felt foolish enough about not knowing them that I wanted to publicly apologize through this blog  (that I believe she’ll read) and thank her again for being so gracious and forgiving tonight when we talked about my gaff.  God has richly blessed my life with wonderful friends…old and new.  I will go home next week with several new friends on my Facebook list…and some old friends’ addresses in my address book.

I’m tired.  It’s been a highly emotional day.  It’s after midnight and in twelve hours we’ll all head to lunch at Cook Baptist Church before her funeral at 2:00.  I’m glad God cushions ordeals like the death of a loved on in shock so that we can float through the tough days.  We rejoice because mom is where she belongs…we mourn because we’re not longer together.  We rejoice because we will be together with her one day…and with dad…and with all the faithful saints who have gone before.  Thank you to so many of you who have made all of this tolerable and manageable.  Thank you for the love…thank you for the prayers.  We are so blessed.