Winter Bloom - Choosing the Coffin

 

It is a strange thing to think about choosing the box that your mother’s body will be packaged and stored in after her spirit is gone.  I expected to be a little horrified at the task of making such a choice.  Mom, whose sense of “frugality” has known no bounds, instructed us in making our choice.  “You buy the cheapest coffin they have!”  We didn’t promise to follow those instructions.

We walked into a room full of caskets and I stood there realizing the dignity and beauty that was in the room.  But my eyes were immediately drawn to a casket.  There just was no second choice for me.  I saw another possibility, but it took about a half second to dismiss and move back to “Winter Bloom”, a beautiful cream-colored casket with pale pink lining and a pink flower etched in the top panel.  Each corner is also inlaid with beautiful pink flowers.  Mom had already shared with me the outfit she wanted to be buried in…Dad’s favorite outfit she wore, and rightfully so.  She is definitely pretty in pink.  I think David was surprised when I said after about 30 seconds, “I know which one I want.” 

“Which one?” he asked.  And as soon as he saw it he agreed.  We both knew immediately that we could rest comfortably knowing that mom’s empty shell of a body would be beautifully laid to rest in this coffin.  There’s something beautiful about having the opportunity to make this choice without the emotion of having just lost her.  A friend, Bob Hearn, who also helped with Dad’s funeral services, was helping to make all the final preparations with us.  He could not have been more helpful, asking all the right questions and helping us to know how to prepare for those final few days when we will say our final goodbye.  I thanked my brother for including me in this part of the preparations, for I’d never seen what goes into planning a funeral…and now I will no longer face that mysterious unknown with fear.  You know…the unknown is so much more fearful than the known.  I think funeral homes should offer “open house” for folks to come by and see what’s involved in the planning and performing of a funeral service.  Then maybe the time for saying goodbye would be less stressful.

So our day that started with a fall moved into an afternoon of gracefully preparing and making some of the last decisions we need to make.  We came home to a mom who was anxious to have us back in the house.  Her medicine is now causing some confusion.  She woke this evening and was sitting on the side of the bed looking a little perplexed.  I asked, “What are you thinking about, mom?”

“I’m wondering where I am,” she replied.  Several minutes later she was able to tell us she was in her living room, but I wondered for a few minutes where she’d been right before she woke up.  I know heaven is getting closer…is she getting glimpses already?

She had a relatively busy day today, staying awake to visit with friends in the morning and afternoon.  I had a good laugh with one young man that visited today.  Bill Wright was one of David’s friends at one of Dad’s former churches.  I can remember Bill spending the night in our home often.  When he and David were together, trouble seemed to often be near.  I loved him dearly.  He’s now been pastoring for 14 years and I just kept repeating in amazement, “You’re a pastor???” (usually followed by laughter).  You see, of all of David’s friends, if I’d picked one out that would grow up to be a pastor, Bill would have been at the bottom of the list.  But it was obvious as he prayed with mom that God has done a great work in his heart, and it was a true blessing to see what God can do!

It was a busy day.  The bed rail has been installed and now trips to the potty or to get up will take two people, because the rail goes up when the head of the bed goes up, and mom cannot lie flat.  So we’ve got a routine for getting her in bed.  David holds her back as I pick her legs up and slide them under the covers.  Then I hold her shoulders while he’s able to raise the bed behind her.  It’s a little tricky, but it’s amazing what you can do for the ones you love.  Today we loved her a lot…and I think we’ll just keep doing that for as long as we can, while praying that God doesn’t make it too much longer…she needs to go Home!